So Thursday morning saw me not only awake, but coming out of the strange - and what seemed to me very real - dream I'd been in since Sunday night.
Lee mentioned how the previous day, before she left, she was speaking to me not long before I woke myself up..... 'remember how we talked about how it would be a fight? Well this is it, you've got to fight!' and I DO remember her saying that!
I remember thinking 'right, I've just got to think of my trip to Jamaica' and doing just that. I felt SO ill at the time that I needed something to focus on.
Although I remember a little from Wednesday after waking myself up, I remember (thank goodness) nothing about having tubes down my throat, or any of the unpleasantness that goes with it. I was looking around me on Thursday, at other patients who had tubes down them, and thinking '....thank god I don't have any of that - I couldn't handle that....' when in fact that's exactly what I looked like just 24 hours earlier.
So hopefully I really was on the road to recovery this time. I wanted nothing more than to get out of CCU, and get all the horrible tubes that were still connected to me taken out! The cannula in my neck was particularly unpleasant, with something like ten different connections hanging off it. As well as that, I had different cannulas in my hands and arms - all over the place. I was swollen and jaundiced (see above) and really not in great shape.
It was a long day Thursday - I just wanted out, but knew I just had to do whatever they told me to do to get better. I was injected with all sorts, given nebulizers, had my O2 levels, pulse and pressure taken really often - if I could get my O2 levels to a certain point, and do some walking the next day, I may well have everything disconnected (except O2) and be sent up to the ward!


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