Is It Lung Cancer?

So, got the news that I  do have lung cancer.,.....not my best day!

Im waiting for some nasty pics from the sergeon, but I can tell you this..... If they found cancer, they were going to remove the offending (top) lobe of my left lung.

 What actually happened was that they removed half of the lobe.

But why? Is this good or bad?......Bad I'm afraid - because my lungs are so damaged from smoking, they felt they had to leave half or breathing would be difficult.

Yes its still worth stopping, as it could prevent cancer and/or other conditions.  It also means you can breath much better!

I'm told my lungs are 'black and nasty' - something you will see pics of when I get  them.  Even when you give up, your lungs will stay black and damaged.

I had a terrible night with pain - and I know chronic pain - a lovely nurse. Called Hannah saved me from myself. Typically i didn't ask for help and really suffered as a consequence......see PIC

I ended up crying, with the gravity of my situation really hitting me.

Thank you so much for your support - you learn who your real friends when things like this happen!  If you should co e and visit, I'm on Dorcas Ward at Guy's, next to the Shard at London Briodge. You know how I am, just some nice company and aa chin wag!

First on the list tomorrow morning! Let's do this!

So I had a call from Guy's this morning asking if I can come in a bit ealier tomorrow morning as I'm 1st on the list.

1st eh?  I'm never first at anything, but typically for me I'm going to be 1st tomorrow.

I'm having a procedure called VATS, which looks a bit like this...

Hopefully, I will either not have cancer at all, in which case I get the lump removed and closed up with minimal scars (though apparently still extremely painful) and no further treatment.

If the tests they do during the op are positive for cancer, then they will need to open me up and remove the offending lobe of my lung, along with a few lymph nodes...

Whatever happens, I have no intention of letting this beat me!  I'll be in hospital for no more than about 4 days if I have the lobectomy.  I'll be on Dorcas ward should anyone wish to visit.

So this is getting pretty real for me now.  I set off this afternoon with Lee to stay with my Brother so I can be at Guy's nice and early tomorrow.  It's kind of strange thinking about showering in the morning, jumping on the tube and straight into an operating theatre.  Still, this has to be done, so here we go!

I am going to try and make sure there are pictures and video if possible of everything, depending on what they allow.  I want to show people what 35 years of smoking does to your lungs, and I want people to talk about Cancer - 'cause it's real and a THIRD of ALL of us will be diagnosed with it at some time.......especially smokers!

Right.....best go get ready then!

And so the date looms this week. Time to think cancer!

Right, quite simply I have to think about cancer.

I know, we don't liked to use the 'c word', or 'cancer', but that's the reality of it.  really thoughtful) friend Gareth, back home to Jamaica for a whirlwind 3 day visit, but it means so much to me.  Although I now have to think (and feel!) cancer for the foreseeable future, I can just think back to last week, to the beautiful hot place Jamaica really is, to my home!

I've been lucky enough to be whisked away by my (

Now, I've read all the info about being admitted, what I must and must not do, and when to do or not do them.  It's all a bit real now.

My bestie, Lee will be escorting me up to London on Weds, to stay with my brother Mark.  I can't eat after 10pm so if anyone did wanna give me anything yummy to eat, that's when I gotta do it by!

I've already engaged with and read lots on the Macmillan site http://www.macmillan.org.uk/

And now am learning more about lung cancer on Cancer Research UK http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/

I have to read these, you can too if you're curious, but I do understand if you just can't face it.  Maybe you'd prefer to ask me something - I'll do my best to answer.

I'm sure everyone who has an encounter with cancer will deal with it differently.  I tend to just carry on in a day to day fashion, but I admit, it is there - I just control my feelings as I prefer to  avoid breakdowns and crying.  It's just how I am - that's how my back got into such a state - it's been really bad for years - I just didn't wanna admit it.

So, to any of you that have thought 'what's that?' or 'should that feel like that'

or 'why does that hurt?' - anything like that (and i'm not talking yer normal colds or flu) - get your ass down to the doctor now.  Even colds and flu, if they go on  too long, get to the doctors!

Right, signing off to go learn about lung cancer.  I'll keep you posted!

First appointment at Guy's - Pre Op

The bloodletting begins lol!  Well, OK, not that bad, but I would rather I was not here having any of this done.

Got the train to London with Lee and went to Guy's for my pre-op check. 

Nothing awful really - I just answered lots of questions, had an ECG, blood tests, MRSA swabs and a chest x-ray.

It was also my chance to ask questions, and find out a bit more about the procedure I'm having in 2 weeks, which I'm told will be a keyhole type of surgery.

I will be having the nodule and some lymph nodes removed.  If the nodule is cancer, then they will be removing a whole lobe of my lung, which means they probably have to open me up, and 'spread' my ribs to get to where they are working.  Even still, they expect me to be out within 4 days.

I'm in a reasonably good mood, and am lucky enough to be going home to Jamaica for a few days before the operation - which does really help of course.  I'm sure I'll be more nervous on the day!

What a pleasant surprise!

So, I made a start on my list by inviting a few friends over for dinner - which I'll be doing much more of in the future!

We had a lovely time, and my friend Gareth told me that if I want, I could fly to Jamaica with him this next week!  The only problem was that the flight back was on the same day as my pre-op.

I called the hospital yesterday and explained what was happening.  They were only too pleased to change things around so that I can go away before I have my operation.

It just goes to show how you  really just don't know what's going to happen.  Going back home to Jamaica is a really important thing for me, and something that Gareth was only to pleased to sort out for me.......

I'm very touched.......and excited!

The (innevitable) Bucket List

So, when you find yourself in my predicament, you do find yourdelf thinking of things you wouldn't normally think about.  One of them is a bucket list - so mine is on my blog now.

Hoping someone can come up with a better name for my list as I'd like see it as something to work towards, rather than my last minute attempt to to everything I should have done already!

Macmillan Cancer Support

Well, this morning I took the plunge and called Macmillan Cancer Support.  I've been told how they can help me understand what's going on and help support me during my recovery.

I was on the phone for nearly an hour.  They were so lovely, not rushing me at all, answering my many many questions as best they could and advising me on all sorts of things from controlling my pain and my many medications to telling me about after my op and what will happen.

This service is invaluable and a huge part of how people deal with cancer.  I dread to think how the NHS would cope if Macmillan vanished tomorrow.....they couldn't cope!

I feel a bit more at ease now, and know what questions to ask and who to ask!  If anyone reading wants to know anything about cancer, or you have questions swirling around your head, well, they are there for you too, and will happily take the time to explain anything to you.  They are also happy to just listen if you need someone to talk to.

So, a huge thank you to Macmillan, and please, let's all make sure we do what we can to support them.  If you see a Macmillan collection box - put something in - because what comes out of that is so wonderful, you can't imagine!

http://www.macmillan.org.uk/